Failure - What's Your Strategy?

You're feeling great. You notice that there's a bounce in your step, as you walk down the road. You're feeling much happier than normal. Then...you find yourself slowing down as you pass your most favourite location...the bakery shop. You can smell the wonderful aromas, wafting from inside, as you stare longingly at your favourite pastry. Without realising, you end up walking into the shop and before you know it, you've bought yourself not just one item but many. You don't know why this happens. It's not like you mean to do it!

You wake up and it's another day, just like any other, except your alarm clock has mistakenly gone off an hour earlier than normal. Laying there, you try to clear the cobwebs from your mind and try to figure out whether it's a weekday or the weekend. Alas, it's a weekday! And it's then you remember that you promised yourself you'd go for an early morning run to start your day. Amongst other things, you picture yourself half asleep running around your neighbourhood, as everyone else is tucked up in bed and it doesn't fill you with excitement. In fact, half an hour later you're still in bed in the land of nod again, after resetting the alarm to a more 'reasonable' time. You wake up feeling bad that you didn't stick to your plan and wonder why this always happens?

You have a presentation and just the thought of it fills you with dread. On a scale of 1-10, ten being 'Ok, I'm about to faint', you're at a 11! Your stomach begins to make noises, and tightens up. You begin to sweat as disquieting thoughts fill your mind. 'I can't do it!' you say to yourself. This upsets you because you really thought you could hold it together this time!

Have you ever been in a similar situation as the above? Not great is it? Why is it that when you want to do whats right, you seem to fall back into an old habit or way of thinking? How can you ensure that you'll not crack next time? The answer: Change your strategy!

Now, I'm not talking about walking down a completely different street, so as to avoid the bakery shop or changing your morning run to a lunchtime or evening one. I'm not even saying that you should seek help with your presentation. But hey, if you those kind of strategies help, then go ahead and do it.

No. The kind of strategies I'm talking about are the unconscious kind. The strategies that you've created that will lock you into the type of thinking and behaviours as loosely illustrated above. That they are unconscious means that we abide by them, often without a second thought, which can be dangerous. I've successfully helped clients change their strategies and they've found it of great benefit removing poor habits that they previously had, which they've desperately had tried to shift, but never could.

As you may have already discovered by other posts in my blog, we all absorb and filter information and experience through our senses, i.e. visual , audio, kinaesthetic, olfactory (smell) and gustatory (taste). How we perform and think about things are stored as strategies, using one or more of our senses.

For instance, using the example of the bakery shop above, you stand looking into the shop window (visual). You catch a waft of the aroma coming from inside the shop (olfactory). In your mind you may even feel like the pastry is literally 'calling' out to you (audio). Your tongue may actually begin to water (gustatory), as you continue staring (visual) at the food. Then finally you might say to yourself (this is self-talk) 'I need that pastry', so you walk in. When inside, the aromas (olfactory) of the cooked pastries may intensify, etc.

The same applies to the other two illustrations given. We run these strategies unconsciously and it's why we wonder 'why do I keep doing that?'. So, what's the solution? Change your strategies! How do you do that?

Just because your strategies are unconscious, it doesn't mean that they cannot ever be changed to serve you better. However, the process of doing so takes some skill. The secret is to find a strategy that you currently run, that works great for you, and replace the 'bakery shop' strategy (or whichever unhelpful one) with the more resourceful one.

It might sound complicated...and it is! I'm not going to lie to you. It involves eliciting each step of your behaviour, and using the mind to switch the strategies. But once accomplished it will bring you much joy, and peace of mind, as you create better unconscious 'autopilot' strategies.

We have strategies for many parts of our lives such as: love strategies, motivation strategies, buying strategies, strategies in sport and business, etc. 

So gone will be the strong desire to stop at the bakery store and the desire to buy some pastry. Gone will be the procrastination you used to have at the dawn of the day. Gone will be the intense feelings and thoughts you used to have when you had to deliver a presentation. Hmmm...What would that be like?


The Mind Coach

Feel free to leave a comment below. I welcome and appreciate your time!

1.1.11 - 5 Reasons Why New Years Resolutions Never Work

1.1.11! - Disregard the dates within this blog, as the message itself is timeless. Here you will read about the pitfalls of weak resolutions that we so often make and how to put them right!

The first of January 2011. For many this day will signify the end of a very short lived new resolution(s). The excitement for reaching new heights will quickly fade away, whether it is for a new health regime, a change in career, a new relationship, etc. Their momentum for fulfilling their resolution(s) will end due to the 'silent killers'. Why? Why is it that some new resolutions never work and who or what is the silent killer?

This blog is about the internal barriers that we give ourselves that prevent us from sticking to resolutions, regardless of whether we make them at the beginning of the year or mid July, for instance. The principles behind why we may not get the results we wish for remain the same. Below are 5 reasons (silent killers) why some new years resolutions never work and simple solutions to ensure your future success.

1. Social Acceptance
Firstly, why do people have new years resolutions? In a nutshell, because it's expected! It's why people will ask you 'What's your resolution?' and often you may feel that you must oblige by having one. So, not to be a bore and different, you may end up creating a resolution. And hey, let's be fair, when you think about the resolution, it actually makes you feel good, right? And you start to think about how good it would be to reach that goal.

Just because it feels good however, doesn't mean that it will continue to feel good. Be sure that your resolution is made not due to social pressure.

2. Intention
You probably haven't set a proper goal! This ties in with the above. It may make you feel good stating such an intention and that's great. However, that may be short-lived and you may find that by the 1st of January, you've lost interest and/ or momentum.

It would be more effective to run your intention/ goal through the neurological levels of alignment. That's a bit of a mouthful, so let me explain. The neurological levels of alignment ensure that you have the best foundation before you even begin to strive after your goal. It is a system used by many successful people and is easy to implement. I shan't go into detail today about each level of the alignment but below is a list of them. I will write another blog or report explaining how to progress through each of the levels, so look out for that.

• Environment
• Behaviour
• Capabilities
• Beliefs & Values (very important!)
• Identity
• Purpose

Running your intentions through these levels greatly increases your rate of success.

2. Negative Emotional Experience
That you may make the resolution in a light-hearted manner, will have a direct impact on your emotional experience. You will not have laid down any regulatory decisions 'red flags' to help you through the difficult times ahead, e.g. the early morning running schedule, fighting the urge to smoke or getting over your poor eating habits on a daily basis.

Without future pacing your goal(s) and actions, i.e. what I will say to myself when I just don't feel like doing it any more, you may run out of commitment and not be able to regulate your emotional experience quite early on (even as early as January 1st!). Just by giving yourself 'red flags' that  pop up in your mind at the appropriate times, will ease the pressure.

4. Don't Pay Now...Don't Even Pay Later Syndrome
Procrastination is a killer of time and emotions! Because you've not laid down any certain plans, like how you are going to reach your goal(s), the various steps, etc, you will not feel a great need to work for your goal. You'll have the "I'll start tomorrow" type thought, which will not get you to where you want and need to be.

5. Poor Scheduling
We all have busy lives. It would be incredible naive to think that you can just slot another item into your busy diary, without proper forethought. Take time out, sit down and work out just how and where you will schedule-in your new resolution.

I truly hope that you regardless of where you are in the year, you will reach all your goals/ resolutions. Avoid the above pitfalls and I'm confident that you'll be well on your way to success, time and again.

I help many individuals with their goal-setting and it gives me great pleasure to see them achieve their desires. If you have a goal that you feel you need help in reaching please feel free to contact me today.