You wake up and it's another day, just like any other, except your alarm clock has mistakenly gone off an hour earlier than normal. Laying there, you try to clear the cobwebs from your mind and try to figure out whether it's a weekday or the weekend. Alas, it's a weekday! And it's then you remember that you promised yourself you'd go for an early morning run to start your day. Amongst other things, you picture yourself half asleep running around your neighbourhood, as everyone else is tucked up in bed and it doesn't fill you with excitement. In fact, half an hour later you're still in bed in the land of nod again, after resetting the alarm to a more 'reasonable' time. You wake up feeling bad that you didn't stick to your plan and wonder why this always happens?
You have a presentation and just the thought of it fills you with dread. On a scale of 1-10, ten being 'Ok, I'm about to faint', you're at a 11! Your stomach begins to make noises, and tightens up. You begin to sweat as disquieting thoughts fill your mind. 'I can't do it!' you say to yourself. This upsets you because you really thought you could hold it together this time!
Have you ever been in a similar situation as the above? Not great is it? Why is it that when you want to do whats right, you seem to fall back into an old habit or way of thinking? How can you ensure that you'll not crack next time? The answer: Change your strategy!
Now, I'm not talking about walking down a completely different street, so as to avoid the bakery shop or changing your morning run to a lunchtime or evening one. I'm not even saying that you should seek help with your presentation. But hey, if you those kind of strategies help, then go ahead and do it.
No. The kind of strategies I'm talking about are the unconscious kind. The strategies that you've created that will lock you into the type of thinking and behaviours as loosely illustrated above. That they are unconscious means that we abide by them, often without a second thought, which can be dangerous. I've successfully helped clients change their strategies and they've found it of great benefit removing poor habits that they previously had, which they've desperately had tried to shift, but never could.
As you may have already discovered by other posts in my blog, we all absorb and filter information and experience through our senses, i.e. visual , audio, kinaesthetic, olfactory (smell) and gustatory (taste). How we perform and think about things are stored as strategies, using one or more of our senses.
For instance, using the example of the bakery shop above, you stand looking into the shop window (visual). You catch a waft of the aroma coming from inside the shop (olfactory). In your mind you may even feel like the pastry is literally 'calling' out to you (audio). Your tongue may actually begin to water (gustatory), as you continue staring (visual) at the food. Then finally you might say to yourself (this is self-talk) 'I need that pastry', so you walk in. When inside, the aromas (olfactory) of the cooked pastries may intensify, etc.
The same applies to the other two illustrations given. We run these strategies unconsciously and it's why we wonder 'why do I keep doing that?'. So, what's the solution? Change your strategies! How do you do that?
Just because your strategies are unconscious, it doesn't mean that they cannot ever be changed to serve you better. However, the process of doing so takes some skill. The secret is to find a strategy that you currently run, that works great for you, and replace the 'bakery shop' strategy (or whichever unhelpful one) with the more resourceful one.
It might sound complicated...and it is! I'm not going to lie to you. It involves eliciting each step of your behaviour, and using the mind to switch the strategies. But once accomplished it will bring you much joy, and peace of mind, as you create better unconscious 'autopilot' strategies.
We have strategies for many parts of our lives such as: love strategies, motivation strategies, buying strategies, strategies in sport and business, etc.
So gone will be the strong desire to stop at the bakery store and the desire to buy some pastry. Gone will be the procrastination you used to have at the dawn of the day. Gone will be the intense feelings and thoughts you used to have when you had to deliver a presentation. Hmmm...What would that be like?
The Mind Coach
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